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Theater: No No Boy (2014)<\/p>\n
One of the unexpected developments of finding my natural voice was the flood of emotions seemingly at my beck and call. Specifically, crying, and not just on stage. I can be in a restaurant talking to someone and I touch upon a poignant moment or emotional event in my past and I start to choke up or cry. Sometimes I\u2019m surprised by this because it comes upon me so fast, like I can\u2019t control it. On stage I\u2019ll find a moment or line in the play that I can reliably count on to either choke up my voice or just outright cry. In No No Boy there is a moment when I\u2019m reading a letter from my wife\u2019s sister living in post-war Japan. It is a description of desperation, starvation and the putting aside of pride in order to beg for help. That letter became my on button for tears, flowing tears.<\/p>\n
During my years growing up and into young adulthood and even part of my adulthood any kind of emotion like that would have given me a very painful lump in my throat but no choking up or crying. I never imagined myself being capable of showing that kind of release. Looking back now I know that block was the same block, the same anxiety and tension, that prevented my natural voice from expressing itself. I don\u2019t pretend to be a psychologist but I\u2019ve reasoned that the absence of vocal anxiety and tension is directly related to the absence of any inhibitions to show deep emotion. I can physically feel the urge to choke up move from my throat to my chest or my nasal passages. The only time I get a painful lump in my throat is on stage because I have to hold back the release until I finish a line or the right moment. In fact, on some nights I had a real struggle in getting through the letter. One action that really gets the tears flowing is if I have to raise my voice, as if in anger, and I haven\u2019t quite figured out why that is. I\u2019m tempted to think that all of my tears, from emotion or anger, are expressions of joy, the freedom of being unburdened by a disfluency, a shoutout to the universe.
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[aesop_document src=”https:\/\/performingartslegacy.org\/kubota\/wp-content\/plugins\/editus\/public\/assets\/img\/empty-img.png” type=”pdf”] Theater: No No Boy (2014) One of the unexpected developments of finding my natural voice was the flood of emotions seemingly at my beck and call. Specifically, crying, and not just on stage. I can be in a restaurant talking to someone and I touch upon a poignant moment or emotional event […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":113,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-highlight"],"metadata":{"_edit_lock":["1557534247:113"]},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n